the mechanics of romance?

i can’t for the life of me figure out why anyone would want to define the act of intercourse as "making love". i find it to be quite a retarded way of thinking. the linking of one’s emotional state with a physical activity is strange at best, though not exclusively incorrect.

i enjoy hugs. i’d go as far as to say that hugs ROCK! i’m not sure how many people ever noticed it, but everytime i hug someone, anyone, regardless of gender, i close my eyes and soak it in.  automatically. it’s my vice, if one can call hugging a vice. i take them every chance i get. just ask Ana-Lucia how annoying my need to maul her for hugs is. she always tries to flee but i get my squeeze-time in. always.

it may sound creepy to you but i just really love hugging. i love it more than kissing and ‘making-out’ (what is making-out really?), and hugging often gets more points than say having sex. squeeze me while you’re hugging me, and i’ll be trying to find all means of getting back in your arms.

which brings me to the topic at hand, sex and romance. many people can tell you all sorts of things on the subject of romance and what romance entails, and what constitutes being romantic or a romantic. many people will also tell you that romance has absolutely nothing to do with sex, and that the two are mutually exclusive.

[rant]
i honestly don’t see what the problem is here, and why the two do in fact have to be separate activities. why can’t i be romantic with my face between her legs, or why can’t a woman be romantic with a cock in her mouth? are handjobs not romantic? how about fisting? can’t one be romantic while defiling their lover and talking dirty in the bedroom? and who’s to say that a hardcore alley-fuck creampie isn’t the most romantic thing on the planet?

and on that subject, sex in my book really isn’t the same as fucking. sex is that thing that married people do once a week, usually on Fridays. you schedule time to make it happen and you usually have to butter-up your spouse with food and alcoholic beverages to make it happen. it’s the reason wine coolers were invented i believe, as i am yet to hear of any unmarried woman claim to enjoy the occasional wine cooler the way one may enjoy the occasional scotch or glass of brandy or even a beer. in this context, they aren’t really "making love", the husband wants to "bust a nut" and the wife figures if she doesn’t facilitate she’d be deemed a bad wife. if the reverse ever happens, the wife has and itch and the husband is always glad to scratch it, mainly because he’s a man. pathetic.

fucking, however, is that thing you do when you just want to get off; fucking is when you pretty much find the nearest warm body to act as substitute for your fingers/hand/fist/sex-toy/etc. the saying does go "Mom I’d Love to Fuck" and not "Mom I’d Love to Have Sex With".
[/rant]

but i digress. the true purpose of the question mark in the subject of this entry is the fact that people seem to think that you need to be in love to have sex, and that the purpose of romance is to make someone fall in love with you. after re-analyzing the act of sexual intercourse, i’m still confused as to why anyone would find it remotely romantic. honestly now, achieving and erection so you can shove-n-retract it repeatedly until orgasm… please point out the part where your emotions come into play. i know right now you’re thinking that orgasm is supposed to be a deeply emotional experience but so should be peeing or making poop, not ‘making woopie’.

[EDIT]
hey. so after thinking about this a little more, i think that "making love" is in fact some activity that people the world over have for some reason associated with the act of sexual intercourse, which i still believe is just plain fucking (regardless of one’s emotional connection with the other).

perhaps the connection was made back when sexual intercourse was still considered a deeply personal activity that required a level of intimacy for it to actually happen. i believe that whatever this ‘activity’ is, one can most likely ‘make love’ without having sexual relations of any kind. i could be as simple as a tender touch or maybe the sweet nothings couples exchange.

don’t beat yourself up over it. like the quote above says, don’t expect love to enhance sex. it may seem like a bonus to some but in the end, it’s just a physical activity, with foreplay being pretty much fluffing your partner.

it just seems to me to be a very irresponsible practice to program people into thinking that sex is enhanced somehow by love or the state of being in love. it’s like telling little children that Santa Claus is real, or the tooth fairy is coming to give you coin for teeth.
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